PARENT TEACHER NIGHT!!!

yes, it's that time of year again... the time that good students relish and poor students fear: PARENT TEACHER NIGHT - Where all your dirty laundry gets aired to your parents so that you cannot lie any more.hahahahah

Having walked into this job a little over a month ago with a group of students that refuse to write anything down I am sure you can imagine the creativity with which I conjured up my marks. To be fair, I worked with a lot of the previous teacher's marks. I made sure my room was clean and orderly. I bought stale cookies at the Co-op Store and put them on a plate to make people feel welcome. I even put on nice pants which is a huge change to my baggy jeans and running shoes that are a necessity to keep up with my class.

I currently have 22 students enrolled in my class and lastnight I got to meet 9 of their parents. BOY, I now have a better idea of where exactly these kids come from... wow. It's typical, I got to meet most of the parents of the kids that are doing very well in class: the parents that are involved and active in their children's lives. I did, however, get to meet two of my problem kids' parents. Oh man, what a treat! I have spoken about Justin, the boy that refuses to lift his head from the desk, well his mom teaches grade one at the school and we've spoken several times. Lastnight was the first time that she saw written records of his marks and a file of work that he wrote his name on but refused to do. She theorized that perhaps he should be sitting next to his best friend instead of a girl because he hates girls and maybe that's why he's refusing to do ANYTHING at all. I said that I would take that into consideration. I cannot remember a time when I was so disgusted with the opposit sex so as to let their very presence affect my learning... but then again I was never a 9 year old boy.

Near the end of the night I got to meet Joanasie's mom. Joanasie is a fireball that vibrates with energy that he cannot disapate. He literally sits and incessantly thrashes his head. He runs around the room and when you try to look him in the face he rolls his eyes up so you cannot ever make eye contact with him. I am without a doubt positive that he would be medicated if he were attending class in the south. He is a loose cannon who can be very agressive at times. He is also very unpredictable. His mother is a meek woman that looks like her life has been hard up to this point. She is missing several teeth, smells badly of cigarette smoke (it's not as though cigarette smoke ever smells good), and she struggled with her English. I sat her down near the cookies to make her feel welcome and opened Joanasie's report card. I offered to read it (which is usually the option that the parents take because it is easier to listen than read) but she declined. She then proceeded to struggle through my block printing. She only paused once, not taking her eyes from the card, to lean to her left, lift her cheek and fart loudly. Still without raising her eyes, she made a stink face and waved the odor around with one hand. I would like to now emphasize my incredible self control. I sat there. I sat there without cracking a smile. I sat there without cracking a smile and without breathing through my nose. I am, afterall, a professional HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.... wow.

It actually ran through my head: what would I have done if I had a serious bout of gas and an important meeting with a stranger that I had to attend? Afterall it is natural, everyone does it, and it's an unfortunate result of eating that is unhealthy to supress. What would I have done? I figured that if I could not have excused myself from the room I probably would have gone beet red and apologised profusely. There is no way, not one chance in hell, that I would have lifted a cheek and waved it around.

Parent teacher night continued and I eventually put on some music to pass the time. Some of my girls came by the classroom to draw on the chalk boards. I think that the one room schools from the turn of the century had it right - give each kid their own chalk and a piece of slate and they will learn. I cannot get the girls to stop using the chalk board so when we are doing seat work, as long as they are on task and quiet I allow them to use the chalk board. A couple of older girls came in and asked me to braid their hair so by 8pm when parent teacher night was officially over my classroom had turned into a beauty parlor. My girls were braiding my hair and I was showing the older girls how to braid a fishtail braid.

And there you have it! My very first Parent Teacher Night.